Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Nick

 For MJ...There are things you can never hear me say my friend. Tol, this is how I let you know I'm here for you...

To a young girl her father is a giant. A hero in every matter. At least to me mine was. I was and still am proud of my Dad. But the fast pace of life and the demanding demeanor of work required him to be away from me most of my childhood years. With this my grandfather stepped in.



My Lolo was dark and handsome. He wasn't tall but to me he was as big and sturdy as a tree. When I was a baby at night he would take me out of the confines of our home and show me off to the drinking men. He would boast of my beauty and wonder. Around 2 years old my mother got in an accident and had to stop my breast feeding abruptly. My grandfather was the one who desperately tried everything he can to calm me down and comfort me. He even played along with us and acted like he was our doll when he was tasked to look after me and my sisters. We used to play basketball in his yard. Often he would give me toys he found from nowhere I could imagine - balls, a top, even a dart board. He influenced me so much that I developed an early interest in cars and motor vehicles - just because he loved riding his bike. Most of the time we would just sit in front of the tv and watch snooker, poker, billiards, basketball, boxing, western and action films and even the x-games. I can still remember his petty little arguments with Lola on who left the faucet open or which piece of fish should I have. My sisters and I used to tease him to "kiss Lola" and he would always do. Prompting Lola to say "nauto ka naman." Going to school and passing their house I would see his shirtless silhouette on the roof with the dog just like tarzan. I give him a toothbrush every year on his birthday because it was the only way to get him to retire the old one. Even though he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's he never forgot the date of my birth, I often boasted of that.

That was my Lolo, ever so gentle and sweet. He taught me to be giving and helpful and to love people even though they're flawed. He was always proud of me regardless of my decisions and of what my grades said.

The disease slowly took him and his will. He became bed ridden and it was the hardest thing for me to see. The girl who was always around her grandparents' house was suddenly nowhere near the place. Of all his grandchildren I was the closest to him. His body was deteriorating but he still looked at me with eagerness and joy in his eyes. It was unbearable, I couldn't let him or anyone see me cry. He hated seeing me cry even as a child. He passed away on a Tuesday night. Upon hearing the news I was devastated and stared blankly at the floor for 10-15 minutes.

I didn't lose a father but I lost the one who harbored me for years. I may not know how hard it is on someone to lose a dad but I know how it feels to stand and watch someone you know close to a dad deteriorate and die.

My darkest days were the ones right after his death. I've gone cold and lost touch with the world. I had nothing and I was nothing.

Faith pulled me out of the dark. Faith and belief that there is something more to life. Faith that things will get better. Faith that I am not alone even if it appears to be. Faith that can move mountains or even emotions. Faith that tomorrow will be different. Faith - a beautiful thing to hold on to.


The father is considered the pillar of a home. If he dies the home he built should be able to withstand great gusts of wind and turmoil. My Lolo is most definitely missed. I still buy him a toothbrush every year on his birthday and I still play his gentle voice in my head time to time so that I would never forget but I know I still have more chapters in life.

Lo, Chapter! :D

Monday, March 21, 2011

Heroes Die Young

Heroes are a vastly extinct commodity these days.  Most speakers say were running out of them but the truth is a hero is born almost every second. Each and everyone of us was born a hero. The Philippine birth rate is 26.42 births /1000 population.Consider the surplus in the Philippines alone! What happened to us? Where is Rizal? Where is Bonifacio?

We simply gave in and gave up. No one desires to die for the country or fellowmen. The Philippines, the Filipino is simply NOT worth dying for anymore. This is what we grew up to know, this is what we learned through the years. The heroes will forever live in books and words of mouth. We know but we never learned.

The heroes of today were smothered in their cribs - infants that were raised either pampered or depraved. Parents of high stature teach their children to think of themselves and no one else. We learned selfishness first and then came stinginess. (And you wonder why great leaders' children fail to uplift us from suffering) While those below the poverty line let out a wild rumpus in the world. Children left alone to fend for themselves and learn things they shouldn't even know. Innocence lost.

We kill our own heroes; murdering them in their slumber. We turn them into heartless robots then we dare search for someone different. There is no lack of heroes just an overwhelming supply of selfishness and depleting compassion. 

Demand and Supply. You want one? Then either raise one or become one! Stop pointing fingers. It is easier said than done. Be willing to unlearn what the modern culture has taught you. Then we get what we have always wanted - A HERO.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Digging for Compassion

Everyone is aware that we live not in a perfect world. People die and children suffer all around the world, this is not new. Kudos to you if you know of the Lost Boys of Sudan, the reason for the American Civil War and that women had to be beaten up and jailed for their (our) right to vote.


We know. We know that the Philippines is overpopulated. That on average a public school child goes to school without eating breakfast. We know that thousands drop out of school because of the lack of money, that hundreds can't eat 3 times a day. We know but do we act?

When was the last time you gave? Who was the last person you helped? Compassion is described as sympathizing and doing something about it. We watch it in the news and all we do is say "Poor thing." Pity won't do them any good. Awe will not feed them.

September 26, 2009 Ondoy struck. What did you do? Most gave clothes and food and basic necessities, some volunteered and actually handed out these goods. It is not much of your time to give material things but to give your time is selfless. Many of us actually did do something probably because the event was highly publicized.

But what if it does not appear on tv? Recently a UST female student was attacked at a public place and no one dared to help her. The other students did not want to get involved, not one of them could even be bothered to call the police. Is this what we've come down to? We now live in a self centered world, one that cannot be bothered.

Look around you. Wake up! If you are a student there is a 100% chance that one of your classmates needs your help; academically, emotionally or financially. What will you do about it? Age is not an excuse. If you are working probably someone you know needs a hand. Do not use time as an excuse. The world spins a lot faster these days but it doesn't mean you have to be cold and robotic.

You are not the only person in the world having problems. Wake up and give a hand. Dig for the compassion deep within your frozen heart. Knowing is not enough. We are educated to make a change.