Monday, December 19, 2011

Invisible Silence

It's not that I'm dying to go. I'm dying to leave. I've always done what I want when I want to. I work, I toil, I fidget and give it my all until I get my way. My life, my decisions. I can't follow someone's route. I pave my own road. No soul could make me do anything I don't want to do. I am strong willed.

You will only be happy if you love what you do and the company that comes with it. My own words ringing in my ears. But I have to stay put. I feel like I'm in shackles, like someone clipped my wings. I have to take it all. I have to live without breathing. I lost my freedom.

Patience was always my weakest suit. I cannot wait, it hurts too much. I don't know how much longer I can hold my breath. I'm suffocating.

I'm not going to cry or throw my feet in the air in protest. Everyday would be a stretch but I'm accustomed to pain. I'll take breathers more often, do not deny me that. Everything I do, I must learn something. This time it will be patience. I will learn to wait in pain.

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