Shortcomings of Stone

Your decisions will make you or break you, so as they say. For me, you must believe in every decision you make, believe that it is the right and only option, only then can you keep yourself at peace and sane.

To my acquaintances I am strong willed, dependable, driven, fearless, knowledgeable beyond my years and highly opinionated. To them I am the unpenetrable fort - stone.

Yet beyond the cement walls I'm not as tough as I look. I am weak. I act on my emotions. I cry and throw fits. I am female and I am young. No matter how hard I try to hide, these are the facts.

I am no stone. I will keep throwing my punches as hard, accurate and precise as I can but in the end of the day I am still human. I cannot do everything, nor do I know everything. Talking to me, you may get the notion that I have all the answers but I don't.

Stone has a breaking point. Submit something to so much and it will shatter. I reached that point, I will not deny that. I haven't been there for more than a year and as much as most of you are, no one's more dissapointed in me than I am.

I apologize for my actions and I hope you can forgive my immaturity. I may be young but I am grown enough to own up to my mistakes. But I will not apologize for my decisions. The path I take is my choice. The decision is mine and mine to take. I've made up my mind.

It was not an easy choice. You may not see me shed a tear but behind the walls I bleed.  If I could have it all, if I could do it all you know I would. 

I will always remember and I will forever be grateful. I am more than willing to keep the bonds of friendship. You are and will continue to be my mentors. And I strive to keep my mentors proud. 

This is my path. These are my shortcomings. This is me wishing I didn't let anyone down.